Different Perspective

I was going to start the blog off with a rant about how exhausted I am, sleep is a pleasure (better than chocolate) but instead I want to start off with something positive and giving..something that will make each of us feel better.. I have always loved this scripture and tonight I and a dear friend needed this..

As you do not know the path of the wind..So you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things.  Ecclesiastes 11:5

Many of you know that my life is filled with a 15mth old little man, yes he is a man..He eats all the time..Anything but broccili..His favorite thing is chips and salsa. My brother, Jeremy taught him how to  "dip his chip" and now he eats the salsa off the chip, loves duice (juice), dips (chips). His vocabulary is growing daily. I am amazing of what he understands..I wonder if I was that intelligent as a toddler? Words: Chi-Chi (His pet chicken), Horsey, Diddy (daddy), duice (juice), shoe, cookie, deese (cheese)..I am sure I am forgetting something..He understands when you tell him to go get a book, go get your juice cup, would you like to go for a ride..He has started trying to put his shoes on..It is a game show for me :)..A pb&j can soothe anything. We spend most of our days outside exploring.. Here is where I wanted to complain..But instead I want to say I am so very grateful for these moments..

We take walks in the woods daily searching for bugs, different trees, birds, I can't describe how my heart leaps when he sees a bird and points to it saying tweet tweet..I finally see my hard work paying off!! Yes, that is hard work :)!

How lucky am I to have been able to spend the past 15mths of his life with him?!? It is epic! I said I would never co-share the bed but oops here I am eating crow. It hasn't affected the love life :) grawl..So why not..I love snuggling to his little blonde curly head and having him wake me up with a kiss in the morning saying momma, momma..I dreamed to hear those words for year..Ok, so I way up way crankier than I should at times..I really should set the coffee pot @ 7:00..

But how could I miss snuggle times like this????

I never dreamed I could love someone so much, it is a love that goes deeper than anything I could have ever imagined. Prince Kannon :) 

I was waiting for the right moment to tell you all about this magic moment that happened a few weeks ago..Kannon & I were cleaning out the attic and I was working in my high school box :)..Found quite of few love lettters, different things that took me back and made me feel really old..Kannon was really quiet and that usually means trouble but this time he was holding a photo, smiling and pointing. The sun was shining so bright that afternoon right where Kannon was standing..I looked at the photo and it was my papaw, me and my Granny. He kept pointing to papaw and laughing, tears were flowing down my face. Call me crazy but at that moment I knew that papaw was watching that he is Kannon's angel. I can't explain the peace it gave me. 

 It truly did change my mind set. Life is so very short, we really should take 5min each day and meditate, sit and think of five things we are grateful for..

1. Grateful for the love of my friends

2. Peanut butter sticky finger hugs from Kannon ball..

3. Being peaceful in my life

4. Angels

5. My husband, my best friend and lover

Namaste-

A year..super fast..

Dec 19 2011

Mr. Kannon Patrick Roberts decided to join us @ 9:49 am. He has been all boy since.

I wanted to write a blog to keep up with his first smiles, walks..but it is all I can do to have a cup of coffee and brush my teeth daily. It is something that I cherish everyday-being home with him.

Month 1: No sleep, I mean no sleep. I breast-fed & was up every 2hrs..I lost my grandpa 5wks after having Kannon so that sent me into a tail-spin of emotions. Oh hello depression. Yes, you can get depressed after having a child. The life you knew before is changed in hours, over night-No one can ever warn you :). Thank goodness for a strong husband & my brother.

Month 2: Sleep-Not so much. This little guy is to much like his momma :). Love to sit up in his boppy. He started holding his little head up while laying on his belly...Again, moving to fast for me to catch up.

Easter- Drooling Machine-This is when life started getting fun...

We went to the beach, pool, this baby boy loves water..We went to Boise, ID in June/July to visit Meme. Again, lesson learned..Traveling with a baby-kudos to all moms who do that!!!!

He started walking at 7mths and has not stopped since...His fave word is hot..hot..So flipping cute :). The doggies are his best friends, he loves being outside, he loves food..anything :). He loves anything to do with balls..soccer, baseball, basketball..Has a pretty good aim too :)

We got to experience our first football season..Roll Tide..Ending with another championship..

We had our first halloween, christmas...Everything seemed extra special this year..Seeing things through his eyes..I look forward to marking each step of his way..He is such an amazing little miracle..Kannon Patrick..Little guy you are amazing...

Summer 2011...

 Again, I apologize for the delayed blog. I really do think about writing-I just forget. Can't believe that summer has already ended-well technical but if you live in the South it is still hot as haiti's. Scorching. I have become a hermit or a bat..The heat adds even more torture while preggers. The joys of pregnant life ;). I am one of the 20% that still gets sick-like every meal sick. So, going outside during the day is quite impossible.

This summer has been filled with baseball, baseball..school (for Grant) & watching this belly grow..& grow. Post 12-the summer team Grant coaches for won State Champs :)! We then traveled to South, Carolina for the regional games. Never, ever as a preggers woman will I ever make a 7hr ride. OMG! Worst trip of my life.

Now, to the important part. Baby Goose. Everyday, every kick, I feel like I have this amazing miracle in the belly. My favorite time is right before I go to sleep, watching tv, eating a bowl of cereal, little guy starts kicking. They started around 18wks. I could begin to feel flutters, around the 23rd week they became stronger & stronger. By the glow of the tv, you can see his movements under the skin. I can't help but get emotional as I watch that. Grant & I cried, got angry, frustrated because we never imagined that we would get to experience this. Now.....I am 25wks & feeling very pregnant. My body, oh my...As Grant says-I have a "squatty" body. He's so kind :). It's ok though, I have began to except the weird looking shape of my belly, achy feet...but also the kindness people have to pregnant woman...people really are nicer..lol. I had to go in every 2 wks this summer for a "short cervix" issue. I loved it. I made great friend's with Brooke my ultrasound girl :)..So she would put him on the screen for  20 minutes @ a time for me to see him. It was like our own special time. Grant had classes..so it was just me & him. Grant has been amazing this whole entire time. So attentive, caring even sympathetic when I am hugging the toilet all day, my hair hasn't been washed...He is the love of my life. The love.

Can't believe summer has ended....another summer filled with so many memories...one that is really going to be cherished by grant & i. Our last one with no kiddo....Yipee :)!!!

New Beginnings...

Gosh, I didn't realize it has been 2mths since I have blogged! 2 mths! Really!! So many things have happened & I have not shared with my friends...

Our little miracle :)

April 27th. The day that changed my life in many ways. Grant & I had left Jacksonville on cloud 9..Pregnant..it worked..Pregnant & due Dec. My mind could not fathom that the 3rd ivf attempt worked. Grant & I were both in shock for a few weeks. By that afternoon though, our happiness would turn to tears & shock. Tuscaloosa Tornado. I am an avid weather center watcher :)...I swear I should have been a storm chaser :)...I was watching the weather & all the storms, listening to them talk about the path. I called Jeremy & told him what the news had said & he was headed to work..this was about 2pm. By 4pm they were showing the direct path the tornado was going to hit-Tuscaloosa. I called Jeremy & he said nothing had happened yet. Around 530ish..I called Rachel & she was crying & saying she was in the zeta basement...I called Jeremy as the tornado was hitting Tuscaloosa & he was screaming that they had just been hit, destroyed was his words. I am flipping out by this time. The news is saying it hit McFarland ave which is only 1block in front of his apt. He sends me a text "my house is gone". Dear God, all I could do was pray for his roommates & Remi. I couldn't even think. All I kept thinking was, this day started out so great & now it's turned tragic. Watching the news, looking @ the photos, talking to Jeremy & his friends, we started to find out how horrific the damage really was. 2 days later Grant & I would see first hand how horrible it really was. I can't describe the images. War zone maybe? The trees were bare, stripped, metal was wrapped around trees, houses gone, only steps leading to some houses stood, car windows blown out with mud, sheet-rock & debris covered them. Grant & I just cried. How blessed we were to be standing there with my brother & his friends & they were unharmed. I call this a new Beginning.

A New Beginning has started for Goose & I also. In 6mth we will have a baby goose. For so long, I never thought I would ever get to experience this. Going through IVF, you begin to realize that you are a case #, another ivf project & only 20% of the time it works. Going into my first blood test to see if we were preggers I cried the whole way...I just knew that it didn't work & I was already setting myself up for the disappointment. Boy was I wrong. I have had the joy of being sick everyday since the 5wk mark. Everyday! I complain, but I know that we paid big $$ for this sickness..lol & it's a blessing to be able to experience this. It's still hard for me to realize I am preggers. I honestly, never thought I would be a momma...But here we are..about to experience a New Beginning :)..& I can't wait!

Ending the 20's

I

Well, it's almost that time again. Birthday time. Normally, it would not bother me this much but I feel kinda old...It's a slightly big # 30. I can remember when my mom turned 30. I don't think it's the # 30 that is so scary it's the I'm only 20yrs away from 50 that bothers..me..Silly, you say but not really..

As I sit here & think about the past 30yrs, 50 doesn't seem that to far away. I think about that Tim McGraw song "In my next 30yrs" . Grant & I were talking about what he should get me-yes, it is 4 days away & he is just now thinking about it...men :)..but he asked me what was the best part of my 20's? I guess the answer should have been marrying you..but I had a lot of good things in my 20's..

First.. would be turning 21. Who doesn't look forward to that day? I remember having a party @ my house surrounded by lots of family & friends..

Second..turning 23. I always said that was my lucky #. Playing basketball in high-school that was my #. For some reason when I was younger I always said I would meet the man I was going to marry when I was 23..Well, it did happen. Brief story..My friend Debbie was a huge baseball fan @ that time it was the Mets..I was turning 23 on a Thursday. She had bought us tickets for that Thursday night for the Braves/Mets series. I was not a fan of neither-I loved the Yankees. I can remember this day so clearly. We left work @ lunch, drove the 3hr drive, changed clothes @ a rest-stop, we made it to the game w/time to spare for batting practice. On the way to the game she kept telling me about this player Grant Roberts..all she would say was he had beautiful hair (always been a sucker for good hair?-not sure why). Batting practice is always my fave part-you get to see the players close-up & sometimes autographs..As we were standing there she pointed out # 36. I think my words were..he does have pretty hair..I remember it was long & curly :) so cute..Well, Grant being the shy kiddo didn't come over & talk but he waved. I thought nothing else....& enjoyed the rest of the game..that is the beginning of our story...

Third..24 :) The year Grant & I had our official meeting. Grant had to have shoulder surgery almost right after I saw him @ the Braves/Mets series. Debbie had sent him a get well card & had added her email address & my cell #. I did not know this @ the time..Fast forward 6mths..January..I receive a text from a odd # & then a voicemail. I was having dinner w/my brother & mom @ the time @ this local pizza joint. I thought someone was playing a joke on my when I checked my voicemail & Grant Roberts was calling?? WTH? I met him Feb 24 @ Spring Training..went to lunch @ Ruby Tuesdays & then we had an awesome date @ this cool bar in Port St. Lucie called Johnny V's...The rest is history.

Fourth..27 Marrying Grant. That day was so beautiful. It had rained the night before & even on the day. It was the day I had always envisioned. Beach, small, celebration with good food & close friends..To bad Grant didn't tell me that we were moving back to Northern Cal where I would be snowed in for 4mths..& living with his dad..I look back now & what wonderful memories we made. 

Fifth..28. The year I followed my dream. I always loved skincare, makeup & Aveda. We were moving back to Alabama & I needed to figure out what to do with my life??? I happen to stumble on the aveda website & there it was my future..I couldn't have done it without Grant & his support. It was also the year we found out about IVF.

The last is 29. It wasn't the best year but it was a learning curve. We did 2 IVF treatments & that was so hard not physically but emotionally. This has also been a year of renewing my faith in God. It's true, when you need him the most he is there. Trust me :) Experience! 29 has brought many changes to my life. My mom moved, Grant is back in baseball &  I have realized that life is not always fair but it moves on. 

So # 30 you have big shoes to fill. I hope that you are ready :)

Psalm 20:4

Psalm 20:4 May he grant you heart's desires and make all your plans succeed. 


Do you ever have those days when you feel like you are not one of the "lucky" ones in life? Maybe, you feel like someone got a better job than you when you worked harder or everything is going "right" for someone else and not you? Yep, I was having one of those days-Today :(. I hate it when I drown myself in a pity-party but sometimes it's good for the soul..just don't let it last to long. 


Tonight I was reminded that we all have those days. I was thumbing through Grant's study Bible that I bought him 6-26-06 (the date is written up front). I came across Psalm 20:4. The theme that describes these verses says this: A prayer that carries us from great suffering to great joy. Life is going to bring both. Sometimes, we might feel like it is bringing us more suffering than joy :) and that's ok. One of my dear friends said this tonight: Walking in the valleys enables us to recognize and appreciate the peaks! What? That is awesome! 


I was talking to my mom today about our upcoming treatment..and crying..and missing her all at the same time. Not a good combo! She told me a cute story. She said that when I was little I was a difficult child to raise! Haha! She couldn't understand why I was so strong-willed, hard-headed & had to do things my way. Now, she believes it was God's way of making me strong & able to deal with life's different blows. I can see that! Thank you Mom!!


It's 11:40pm & feel much better now that I have blogged! Ah! Leave you with this thought. Never stop praying, even in your darkest moments he is always there to listen! 

What Spring Brings

As I sit & enjoy this beautiful weather, I think about what this time of the year brings to my life. I love this time of year. It seems that the air is clear (no pollen) just yet, the mornings are cool & the grass is still wet from the dew, the afternoons get longer and the sunsets are so full of color.  So enough of all of what I enjoy...let's get down to what it really brings to the Roberts Casa. Baseball...Lots & Lots of baseball. No complaints but I spent 6 hours Saturday watching baseball..I did do minor coaching from the sideline :) What can I say...

The Wallace Govs (the team Goose coaches for) is doing good. We had a nice winning streak until this weekend..Split the tournament. I will say I love going to the games..Not only for the baseball but I get to see my husband go back to his passion.

My Amazing Husband # 29

This spring is also bringing us another IVF treatment. I took some much needed time off from the needles, hormones & blessed weight gain :). Oh the joys. I started the Vivelle today. It is the estrogen patches & this is used to help the lining of the uterus. Amazing what the body adapts to. We have our first appt w/Dr. Freeman 3/25 & this is the ultrasound appt. to check & make sure all is well on my insides :) Woohoo..So when the nurse told me our transfer date I died laughing...you will too...April Fools?? Really?? God has a sense of humor for sure. I am trying to be even keel about this treatment. I have really been praying for peace in my heart...Do keep us in your thoughts this next month. 

I do have so fun news about this upcoming weekend. Rarely, do Grant & I get a wknd full of fun. We (baseball team) has a tournament in Mobile, Al this upcoming wknd. Yay! Friday night we are doing to The Wharf to see Blackberry Smoke & Zac Brown Band. Yes, people in their 30's can still party a tad :).  I also plan on doing some outlet shopping...maybe finding some neat antique/thrift stores..who knows.  I did find a cupcake bakery I will be gps & find!!!   

BBS